Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Trying to be grateful, in the midst of (impending) loss.
So here we are, mid-February, and just-past my 7th Wedding Anniversary (Hansoo and I married February 10th, 2007), and, though I have much for which to be very grateful, I am sad. Sad over Mom, who, though she is improving and living well in Florida, is...in Florida. Faraway from me. Her home is there, and she is where she wants to be. My sis, Tina, has now taken on the role of primary Caregiver, the role I took on for so many months, last year. Mom's primary residence has always been there at Tina's, but it still hurts not to have her here, with us. I am immensely grateful for the extreme care I see Tina pour into Mom's life. I think seeing my sister be so kind and gentle with our Mom, makes me feel even closer to her, and like most siblings, Tina and I haven't always been so close. Daddy is much improved (he lives in yet a different part of Florida), and my in-laws are better, with "Appa K" (my father-in-law) addressing his cancer; he now has two kinds: prostate and bladder) health issues, too. So, why the melancholy? I know my loved ones will die, and I cannot fathom being without them. I also have deep concerns about the health of other relatives, and friends. I also am just beginning to realize, how very, very challenging, all of this, is. It is hard to see people you adore, begin to fall into decline. As I posted to a Facebook Wall, earlier today, "The aging and disease has got hold of her/him, and won't let go. There's a human being still in there, who loves us. And we got to love her/him, right back." Here's to Caregivers, everywhere. You are not all alone. There is Peace in the universe, and the way to feel that peace, is to breathe, and remember that this responsibility is only for a short time in your life. You will never, ever, regret "being there" for your parents, your sibling, your spouse, your children, your extended family... Peace, kids.